


Words I Couldn't Say

by Hogwartswillwelcomeyouhome



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Drama, F/M, MSR, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-08-28
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4671443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hogwartswillwelcomeyouhome/pseuds/Hogwartswillwelcomeyouhome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Mulder couldn't tell Scully he loves her and one time he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words I Couldn't Say

The first time he wants to tell her, she can’t hear him. She’s lying comatose in a hospital bed, removed from life support and fading fast. It would be easier this way, he tells himself, to not have to see her reaction when he admits to her what he’s only recently admitted to himself. But as soon as he steps into her hospital room he knows he’s wrong, that there’ll be nothing easy about sitting idly by as the life slowly seeps out of his partner. 

He hadn’t wanted to come to the hospital, was actively avoiding it. Some small part of him had hoped that if he never went to see her for the final time she wouldn’t die. That the situation would only become real if he acknowledged its seriousness. In the end it had been Melissa who convinced him to come. Even though he didn’t agree with most of what she said, he knew Melissa was right about one thing: Scully would expect him to tell her how he felt, conscious or not.

So he finds himself sitting in the chair next to her hospital bed, reaching for her hand. He feels more than a little ridiculous, talking to a woman who cannot possibly hear him. Swallowing his pride, he takes a deep breath and lets the words spill out. “I feel, Scully, that you believe you’re not ready to go. And you’ve always had the strength of your beliefs. I don’t know if my being here will help bring you back. But I’m here.” 

It’s not exactly what he wants to say. He wants desperately to tell her how much she means to him, that he loves her. It’s not romantic love, not by a long shot, but she’s the only one he trusts and being with her feels like coming home. Without her he’ll go back to the darkness that is investigating the X-Files alone, just Spooky Mulder chasing crackpot theories. But despite the likelihood that this will be his last chance to express his feelings to her, he can’t bring himself to say it out loud. Not now, not when he’ll never hear her voice or see her smile again. To tell her he loves her would be admitting defeat, giving up hope that she’ll ever wake up. And if there’s one thing he will never do, it’s give up on Dana Scully.


End file.
